well. here i am. back again. first i have to say that i am not in a very pleasant mood, due to what happened since yesterday.first, when i came back from band, had a rather horrible spat with my sister.
in short, she switched off the light the light in the bathroom while i was bathing. and not because she didn't know i was inside. well, i'm scared of the dark, although not as much as when i was young. then she was hurling vulgarities at me, so of cos i got pissed. hallo? but obviously, she wins me in that area. afterall, i do not take hokkien as a thrid language. well anyway, so we were not on speaking terms until this afternoon, through msn. huh? you may ask, isn't my sister at home? erm.. she is, about 4 metres away from me? this happens all the time. sometimes i'll rather be an only child, then i wouldn't be quarrelling with her all the time. since young, we have always argued over little things, insignificant, but overall it still adds up to quite a lot. this few years though, i have been mostly left alone. it's lonely being at home alone. the few times that i talk to my sister, we end up fighting. so, is being not lonely fighting with my sister or is being lonely like an abandoned kid better? you tell me.
all i want since young is a happy family. is that too much to ask for?
i'm not feeling well now seriously. last night, or this morning, couldn't sleep. and it wasn't only for awhile. 3.38 am woke up cos i was boiling under my blanket. had this really weird feeling in my mouth. duh. having sore throat and two ulcers. what can i expect. then i went to sleep on the floor cos i thought it might be colder down there. wasn't much help until i went to the kitchen, drank water, ate ice, two tablespoons of pi pa gao and more water. den splash water, some more water.
finally fell asleep at 4 plus almost five. woke up at noon no surprise bah. interesting way to spend my day right?
anyway, i want a new saxophone. dream on, you might say. i know it's "fat hope" all the way. whaat, you think new alto saxophones fall from the sky? even if it does, most likely, with me, it would just fall on top of my head and hit me on the forehead hard enough for me to feel faint. and when i fall on the ground, i'll land on the back of my head, in the middle of the road, then laspe into a coma for a year or so. when i finally wake up, i'll become a vegetable. yes, a carrot.
speaking up for pinru,
a new BARITONE/ALTO SAXOPHONE
funny though, i have never heard of tenor complaining about wanting new instruments. i wonder why?
haiz.
we should both know that the band does not have enough money. if there is a new baritone sax, then there wouldn't be money left over to buy a alto sax. unless i buy one myself. FINE. we should think about the kids in Africa not having proper meals. i should count my blessings instead of complaining.
to anonymous tagger(s): you can say whatever you like and i'm fine with your comments. thank you for reading and i'll try and remember not to mention anything personal next time. i'll just blog about what the world wants to read about. somebody happy and carefree, with the innocence of a child and wisdom of an adult.
but i still hope you'll leave your name the next time. why be cautious about revealing your identity if you bother to leave a tag? if you want to truely remain unknown, you can just lurk in the dark and not tag. at all. even if we might not know you, it's better then having no identity by being purely anonymous.
i'm just being truthful and honest. i believe that i have to right to say whatever i want, as long as i'm not slandering people or hurting others. no, i do not ask for others to understand me better. in fact, i do not like people who know me too well. it's freaky that way.
you know what? i seriously do not feel like blogging depressing stuff from now on. make a clean break then. should i even blog in the first place? remember what i quoted a few days ago? about what only you know is like a wall around you? i've decided to build another layer or bricks on top. seal the door, break off the doorknob and add barbed wires on top. oh. and did i forget to mention the huge "keep out" sign? what can i say? i'm anti social, therefore going to suffer, changing classes. nevermind about me, just make yourself happy. i'll just keep more to myself and talk to myself more. i find having a chat with my sarcastic self rather interesting anyway.
"hi, how you doing?"
"rather fine, i think you should ask yourself that question."
"actually i am"
"ok, continue asking."
"had any interesting conversations lately?"
"hmm. would you count yourself an interesting person?"
"i don't know. wait. let me think. i think you can answer that question yourself."
"i am answering it myself. duh."
"hey this conversation isn't going anywhere."
"finally you realise."
"nice meeting you though."
"just to inform you, i think you are a rather boring person."
"well thanks alot. go look in the mirror."
"and good day to you too."
satisfied? i'm having alot of fun talking to myself as you can see.
"only fools are positive."
--Moe Howard (US comedian with the three stooges. 1897-1975)
``i'll try to be happy
~kiaa
& all along, its only what I thought.
3:30 PM