i always sound like i'm so depressed when i blog. not sure why, but it has probably got something to do with having nobody who can outlast my endless complaining. well. if you want to read about happy lives with bunnies hopping about on hilly pastures, a rainbow in the background and butterflies dancing atop bright flowers, uh uh. happy blogs are aplenty, but i doubt you'll see much of those when i blog. can always read siling they all their blogs, everyday is fun, laughter and joy. more or less bah. but are people really happy on the inside? or are they just burying their head in the sand, refusing to face the music, prefering to hide themselves in self-denial? gosh. how much morphine do they take, to be immune to it? or do they acheive a sense of inner peace, a sort of calmness that assures them that lie is going to be alright? one quality that i definately do not possess. well, not live i have any good qualities anyway.
on the outside, everybody seems happy-go-lucky, but what do i know? there's a mask so thick, built over time, that you can rarely get a glimpse of the inside. when you do, then so what? it just shows that everybody has feelings. through time, experience, example, we learn, to be crafty, to hide our feelings well, to manipilate people. this might not be true for some people, over from what i can see, which isnt't a lot to begin with. sad eh? i spent years trying to figure that out: why are people so complicated? oh well. life has to be challeging, mustn't it? when i'm old and retired, sitting on a rocking chair, i shall be thinking of the same question. will i have found the answer by then?
we are the people our parents warned us about." ----- Jimmy Buffett
*sorry for spelling errors, english pathetic, and i can't do much about it.
~kiaa
& all along, its only what I thought.
3:20 PM
